It seems that, to climb all the way up the slippery slope of corporate hierarchy, one has to acquire a kaleidoscopic set of behaviours. Chameleonic personality is warranted. It is about appearance towards those who decide –be it directly or indirectly—on the future of our careers. Being rebellious in the eyes of our bosses hardly ever augments the speed at which we would relocate from the torture chamber (a.k.a. ‘our cubicle’) to our dream 50m2 office in the 30th floor. Therefore, obedience is vital, even if it implies incurring in unreasonable behaviour, such as going through those ridiculously irrelevant ‘team-building’ obstacle courses or caressing, hugging and kissing a horse. Yes, you read it right: a horse. It is the latest advancement in corporate idiocy.
Belgian talent scout Sofie Van Eemeren interacts with a seven-year-old palomino called Spirit during a corporate training session organised by the company Equi-RH at stables in Lesve, southern Belgium, August 27, 2007 (Source: Reuters/Francois Lenoir).
In a Reuters article titled ‘Want a pay rise? Use your horse sense’, located under the ‘In depth news’ section, Mark John reported that Belgian trainer Thierry Verwaerde and his wife, Bernadette Delvaux, are “pioneering a corporate training technique they call ‘equi-coaching’, whose tool is the highly strung nature of horses” (for more information –or should I write ‘disinformation’?—visit www.equi-rh.be). The ‘in-depth’ article continues saying that “Delvaux says many clients only notice changes in their outlook some time after the training, and even then these are quite subtle. But she argues the experience is more memorable than a day spent in front of a blackboard learning management techniques.” Equine language lessons: more memorable than a day in front of a blackboard laden with good ol’ management bullshit? That’s too close to call. But, if a memorable–yet pointless—day is what you’re seeking, try teaching your dog to solve the Riemann hypothesis right in the middle of La Rambla on a summer Sunday morning!
It is remarkable how much HR departments spend out of shareholders’ money (and general citizens’ money if taken into account the tax deductions that the authorities might award for those ‘training’ expenses) in irrational courses that teach us nothing more than how high our stupidity levels can go just to please our bosses, to whom we tend to be their pathetically unconditional bitches. The things we are capable of doing just to climb up the socioeconomic ladder! The irrationalities to which we are accomplices just to nourish our bank accounts!
Belgian finance executive Philippe Delvaux interacts with a seven-year-old palomino called Spirit during a corporate training session organised by the company Equi-RH at stables in Lesve, southern Belgium, August 27, 2007(Source: Reuters/François Lenoir).
Nevertheless, I wish our selfishness-fuelled complicity was limited to this type of irrationality rather than being extensive to greater irrationalities, such as war, famine, curable yet uncured diseases and other forms of widespread human suffering, all of them longstanding dishonourable disgraces, nurtured by centuries of the most common display of utmost selfishness: indifference. While too many millions live with hunger, perfectly curable yet deadly medical conditions, illiteracy, war, homelessness and other manifestations of irrationality – as all this is taking place, we can be insane enough to centre our concernedness on trivialities such as where to spend our next holiday or what cologne to spray on us prior this Saturday night outing. As Catalan humorist Jaume Perich (1941-1995) once said or wrote –who knows?—, “Everyone wants happiness yet not happiness for everyone”. We, the economically better off part of humanity, would anaesthetise our mental soundness by submitting ourselves to ridiculous ‘equi-coaching’ courses just to improve our already decent financial outlook. Unfortunately, we are never eager to propose, design and execute a historic equalising exercise of human brotherhood, even if doing so eradicates –or at least attenuates significantly—the still alive and well socioeconomic consequences of centuries of genocide, slavery, colonialism, deliberate segregation, independent thought suppression, among other despicable means of material wealth consolidation.
